


Turquoise Eyes

by stopdrinkingthemilk



Series: We'll find a way out [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Agender Kozume Kenma, Genderfluid Yamaguchi Tadashi, It's not mentioned but, Nonbinary Akaashi Keiji, Pining, Slow Burn, Trans Boy Kuroo Tetsurou
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-16
Updated: 2016-10-13
Packaged: 2018-07-24 09:54:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7503859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stopdrinkingthemilk/pseuds/stopdrinkingthemilk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Despite their presence cause his heart to race, running at light speed, and cause his breath to run short, he just couldn’t help but feel at peace around them. They had a calming aura irradiating from their whole body, piercing right through his skin, penetrating all the way to his bones, contaminating the blood that traveled his entire body, making him sick; die little by little. The more he craved for the horrifying comfort of their presence, the more he wanted to know them. He just needed to take all the opportunities he could have to be around that grotesque-yet-divine personification of beauty, who seemed to be a disgustingly incredible person.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

From the moment his eyes met turquoise ones, he knew he was in trouble. It didn’t take much of them for him to fall for what he saw. The way the little strands of dark hair that poked out of their messy fuss in every direction moved slightly as they approached, the ever so perfectly sculped curves of nose, lips, chin, face shape, the porcelain-like skin, slightly dark and contrasting with the brightness of those blue-ish green orbs, the thick eyelashes, the neutral expression, like they weren’t even trying. They were ridiculously beautiful. He didn’t know whether he wanted to look at them, simply analysing them, as if they were an art masterpiece, or to advert his gaze from them as fastly as he had landed it on them, threatened by that monstruous beauty, fearing what would happen if he stared for too long. He couldn’t tell if they were an angel or a devil. Their mere presence made him completely forget about the two random idiots in front of him and the response to their provoking that was being awaited. Tsukishima gave in, giving them what they wanted: a volleyball practice with a middle blocker.

 

Akaashi Keiji. That was the name of the heavenly-gorgeous monster whose beauty haunted his thoughts the whole first day at the training camp. They were Fukurodani’s setter, and, much like Nekoma’s setter, they seemed to also be the team’s brain, though, instead of planning strategies, they seemed to be the one who just knew how to keep the team stable and under control during a game. Indeed they were smart. Among the few things he knew about them, that was one. Most of the things he knew involved what he heard from Kuroo and Bokuto, or maybe even Hinata – who, on the other hand, knew from Kenma –, as well as what he could see himself.  
Despite their presence cause his heart to race, running at light speed, and cause his breath to run short, he just couldn’t help but feel at peace around them. They had a calming aura irradiating from their whole body, piercing right through his skin, penetrating all the way to his bones, contaminating the blood that traveled his entire body, making him sick; die little by little. The more he craved for the horrifying comfort of their presence, the more he wanted to know them. He just needed to take all the opportunities he could have to be around that grotesque-yet-divine personification of beauty, who seemed to be a disgustingly incredible person.

 

And then, it happened. Tsukishima didn’t know if it was a blessing or a curse to see that pretty face yet again when he turned around to see whom the hand laying on his shoulder belonged to.  
“You did good today. Thanks for sticking with us. I know it is a pain to be aroung those two.” His ears felt like they were bleeding because of the sweet melody.  
Fuck. Even their voice had to be this perfect. Tsukishima just couldn’t bring himself to do any more than smile and thank them. He didn’t know if he felt relieved or mad at himself for that.  
And so it kept happening. Again and again. Until he finally had the gut to take the opportunity to turn the small talk into an actual conversation. A conversation that ended up being a very long one. They had many common interests. It all started with bands, then TV shows and movies, until they realised how much they had in common, personality and mentality wise. That led them to constantly keep each other company and actually become friends. They even exchange phone numbers to still keep contact after they separeted, just like Hinata and Kenma did.

 

The closer he got to Akaashi, the harder he’d fall for them. Naturally, he talked to Yamaguchi about it. They told him to catch Akaashi’s attention by bringing out the best things about him that made him stand out, that made him special and, well, him. What Yamaguchi meant was basically for Tsukishima to bring Akaashi to see what they liked about him. When they said that, they were talking about Tsukishima’s personality, about him as a person.  
Somehow, that resulted in Tsukishima shamelessly and desperately trying to impress Akaashi, with random gestures, at all costs everytime he could get the chance. Yamaguchi couldn’t tell what was worse: Tsukishima’s incredibly failed attempts at that or Akaashi’s obliviousness to these ever so obvious attempts. Every single time, the blond would embarass himself, making the black-haired chuckle – and, consequently, making his best friend sigh immediately.

 

“Dammit, Kenma, you’ve spent twenty four hours a day on your phone for the last four days, for fuck’s sake! Let go of that goddamn thing for one second!” Kuroo yelled at his best friend from across the court. Kenma just angrily glared at him and turned around, their back facing him.  
“Congratulations. You scared them away. Just as you always do with anyone around you.” Tsukishima remarked. Kuroo would often try to make Kenma join their practices, unsuccessfully.  
“They’re probably still spending a lot of the time trying to comfort and support Hinata about her grades.” Akaashi said. “Afterall, the only reason why she and Kageyama had to go back was that, right? So I guess she just needs them to help her out a bit.”  
“Eh, it’s not like they’d want to play anyway.”

 

Tsukishima went plain pale as he petrifiedly stared at the player kneeling down at the other side of the net.  
Akaashi had their right hand pressed into the floor, next to their foot, the other one held their face, droplets falling down from it, streaming down their arm, forming a small puddle of blood on the court’s floor. They had their head down, eyes closed, the pain stinging everywhere on their face.  
Everyone just froze up and stared at them, only moving, after what felt like centuries, to look in Tsukishimas direction. Akaashi stood up, excusing themself to the locker rooms to clean up. It was the first time any of them saw Tsukishima spike a toss this forcefully. And it flew right to Akaashi’s face.  
No one said a single word as Akaashi left. No one knew what to say. Tsukishima didn’t even apologize. They just went back to playing after some time of this bizarre silence. When, after quite a long time, they all realised Akaashi still hadn’t come back from the locker room. Tsukishima went after them, saying he had to apologize anyway.

 

When he walked into the locker room, he saw something he certainly wasn’t expecting to see. Akaashi sat on a bunk, cross-legged, surronded by blood-soaked paper towels, eyes closed. Across from them, Kenma was positioned the same way. Both were leaning in, their lips dancing with each other in sync. They were too caught up in the moment to notice his presence.  
Tsukishima simply didn’t know how to feel. He just imediately ran to Yamaguchi and told them everything, from spiking the ball at Akaashi to seeing them making out with Kenma at the locker room. According to Yamaguchi, that probably explained what they thought was mere obliviousness: Akaashi might’ve actually realised that Tsukki had a crush on them, but they could’ve not talked about the actual situation basically out of fear of hurting him.

 

Since the incident, Tsukishima had started to be salty towards Kenma when around them. He’d make the snarky remarks he usually throws at Kuroo and Bokuto. He’d snap at Kenma whenever he got the chance to, he’d always reply sarcastically. He wouldn’t be as harsh, he wouldn’t push to the limit. And that made it harder to see that he was actually being cruel.  
For others, it didn’t seem like he had a problem with Kenma specificly, it just seemed like it was Tsukishima being Tsukishima, just the way he acts towards anybody. The thing is, Kenma couldn’t handle situations like this the way everybody else did. Most people were able not to let him get to them. Kenma wasn’t. The worst part of it all: Tsukishima did it unconsciously. Because of that, he simply wouldn’t see what he was doing to them. Yamaguchi was the only one who could see how cruel he was being and, whenever they pointed it out to him, he’d simply get mad, refusing to even try to understand the situation.


	2. Chapter 2

"Fuck. I lost the tiny chance I had." Tsukishima cursed as he stepped into the bus, followed by Yamaguchi.  
"You didn't lose it. You took your chance while you could. Akaashi was the one to not take theirs."  
"The thing is, now they're dating. So, basically I won't ever have a chance."  
"How can you be so sure?"  
"I'm not... It's just- I- I don't know. Ugh, whatever. There's a little less than two years until they graduate. Then that'll be it. We'll never see each other again."  
"Don't be so dramatic, Tsukki. Of course there are chances you will be seing each other again, the world can be very small sometimes. Besides, you don't necessarily need to personally meet someone to be friends with them."  
"So you expect us to be like Hinata and Kenma?"  
"I don't expect anything, I'm just suggesting an alternative."  
"Hm... Bokuto and Kuroo did say they wanted to create a group chat or something."  
"See? Once they create it-"  
_“If_ they create it."  
"... you'll have an excuse to keep talking to them. You can start a conversation in the group, then use it as an excuse to... take it to the private chat."  
"Well, that's true. It could be a good idea." Tsukishima said, looking out of the bus window, admiring Akaashi's intimidating beauty one last time. The wind blew at their black hair, its messy curls swinging swiftly in every direction. The way the fading sunlight hit their features, complemented with that soft _smile_ on their face... God, Tsukishima swore that was an angel he was looking at.  
"Someone fell hard, huh?" His friend chuckled.  
"Shut up, Yamaguchi." He forced his gaze away.

 

"You sure you don't wanna tag along, Tsukki?"  
"Hinata's there, right? You didn't tell me because you thought I wouldn't come because of her, but you want me to, because you are still not completely comfortable around her."  
"Maybe...?"  
"Ugh... To be honest, you're lucky you're my best friend, Yamaguchi."  
"Yay!" They smiled, relived; "Thank you, Tsukki! I owe you that one."  
"Yeah, you do."

 

"Nope." Tsukki turned his back, walking the opposite way.  
"Tsukki, please! Do it for me." Tsukishima looked at Kageyama inside the restaurant once again before giving in.  
"Ugh, fine. Just because I know you'd do it for me."  
"I'll make it up to you, I promise" Yamaguchi said, already rushing inside, pulling him along with them.  
Tsukishima was tired from the trip back to Miyagi, as well as all the training, it was the last day he'd see Akaashi in a long time, he was exhausted from all the _interactions,_ the _convivence_ with other people. All he wanted was to be home by himself. All he _needed_ was to be home by himself. Instead, Tsukishima was to, not only be out, but with Hinata _and_ Kageyama. _Amazing._

 

 _At least the food's pretty good._ The whole dinner consisted on Yamaguchi and Hinata excitedly speaking to each other, while Tsukishima and Kageyama sat there awkwardly, an aura of disgust and wrath irradiated from them everytime they exchaged looks. Tsukishima took notice of how well his friend actually got along with Hinata, and how he never realized it. But they clearly did enjoy each other's company. Yamaguchi also seemed pretty comfortable around her.  
The way back went on quietly, calmly. Just the way Tsukishima liked it. They had parted ways not too far from the restaurant, so it was only him and Yamaguchi at that moment.  
"Was it... _that_ bad?"  
"No and yes... Hinata is more acceptable when around you. But there was Kageyama... I mean... the atmosphere was pretty... you know, uncomfortable and awkward."  
"Sorry, Tsukki. I did think you'd feel that way, but I was hesitant to include you in our conversations. I was afraid to make things worse for you, since you'd have to interact with Hinata."  
"No, don't worry. I guess it was the best possible turn out. I was able to just... stay quiet, and let my thoughts run my head for a while."  
"If you say so." Yamaguchi shrugged. They were getting closer to their house. "You wanna stay for a while? You can even sleep over, if you want to. I guess it is even easier for us to study tomorrow."  
"Yeah, whatever."


	3. Chapter 3

"Shouyou and I are going to watch some movies later at my house." Yamaguchi announced as they walked out of the library.  
"... 'Kay." Tsukishima responded, taking a breath. It had become more and more frequent for them to go out together... And for Tsukishima and Kageyama to tag along. It had gotten natural, they have all gotten used to it. "'Shouyou', huh?"  
"Ugh, shut up. And don't give me that salty mode smile." Tsukishima put his hands up in defeat, though still keeping the smile.  
"Bye, Tsukki!" Yamaguchi turned to their friend as both approached the school's entrance.  
"Wait, you're not coming?" He asked, confused.  
"Oh, uh..." They looked at their feet, "I'm going to Shou- Hinata's house. We'll just hang out in the evening then dress up together for tonight. She asked me for tips and stuff."  
"Aww..." Tsukishima spoke up after the long pause that followed the his friend's words.  
"Goodbye, Tsukki." Yamaguchi rolled their eyes, turning their back and walking away. The words 'I ship it' could be heard in the distance as their friend shouted them out.

 

 

“Hey.” Kageyama said, stopping in front of Tsukishima, who stood on the outside of Yamaguchi’s house, leaning on the wall beside the door. His only response was to look at the other in silence, turning his gaze back to his feet.  
“Yamaguchi’s not home yet.”  
“Really? I thought you enjoyed being locked out of your friend’s house.”  
“How do you expect me to assume your stupidity hasn’t stopped you from getting to the obvious conclusion?” Their eyes met. The relationship between Kageyama and Tsukishima had suffered plenty of changes through the group's 'hangouts' as their frequency increased. The looks they shared weren't filled with wrath anymore, with those absolute hateful thoughts. Now these looks were a bit spiked with misteriousness, almost curiosity. Not that any of them would actually admit that, not even to themselves. In fact, neither of them could spot what brought them to that state, what was the reason for such change... _yet._  
Tsukishima sighed as he turned his head to stare at the road. His peripheral vision indicated that Kageyama held the gaze for a few seconds, took longer to redirect it.  
“Tsukki!” Both turned their heads towards the direction of the voice to find Yamaguchi and Hinata rushing to them. “I’m so sorry, I- We-”  
“We ended up-”  
“Yeah, yeah... Whatever, it’s okay. Just open the door, Yamaguchi.”

 

Yamaguchi: tsukki  
Yamaguchi: i want to talk to you  
Yamaguchi: it’s about shouyou  
Yamaguchi: but i can’t do it now tho  
Yamaguchi: she’s staying the night  
Yamaguchi: you have time tomorrow?  
Tsukishima: Sure.

 

 

"Do you think Shouyou likes Kenma?" Yamaguchi asked, ever so suddenly jumping straight into the subject after many minutes of avoiding it.  
"I have no idea."  
"I mean... although she was really happy when she talked about how they've completed nine months with Akaashi, I sort of felt like something had suddenly hit her, making her upset."  
"What is that supposed to mean? And how can you even tell?"  
"I don't know, Tsukki... I just can."  
"Still, why'd you care so much? Do you like her or something?"  
"I- It's not that," Yamaguchi naturally brushed his teasing right off, "it's just- I worry she might be letting herself down by not leaving Kenma behind for a while, you know? What if she keeps on suffering until they give her a chance again?"  
Tsukishima looked away, thoughtful. He couldn't help but think of Akaashi. He knows he shouldn't, it doesn't even make sense - they were never involved like that anyway -, and that makes him mad at himself. They did keep the slightest bit of contact, through that chat group Kuroo and Bokuto promised to make. He was no more than Akaashi's acquaitance, how dare he feel such things for them, knowing they were in a relationship? Yet he couldn't bring himself to let go of them, their beautiful features, those eyes, their hair, their lips, their low voice, their calming presence, their relaxing aura. He desperately wished to forget about this person. But how?  
“... Shut up, Yamaguchi.” _She’ll be fine. **I** will be fine._


End file.
